I Have to Get Outta HERE!

I seriously told myself when I woke up this morning.. I told myself.. " I must get outta here! " >.< I didnt sleep well for the past 1 year++.. It's very sad when I think back.. It seems like it is because I just cant get out something in my mind which cause my sleepless night happen again and again..

I have to get out from all the misery and sadness happened to me all this while. Even when I work.. my brain will think back what happened for during Year 2007.. a lot a lot of things happened in that particular year..

Hopeful things had happened..
Beautiful romantic things had happened..
Happiness till you feel like flying had happened to me also..

Shockness..sadness..dissapointments.. are the one that happened the most..

I was very much disappointing of what had happened last year.. I have to let go something that I actually believe in for the sake of a life of another person which close to me.. It was a very hard and tough decision.. But I keep telling myself.. It has happened.. It will never turn back the way you want it to anymore no matter what you do.. This is what I told myself.. Somehow, I still cant get over it..

I miss all the nice memories in year 2007.. I missed it soo soo soo much.. Somehow it turns very sour in the year end.. Sigh

How can I get over it and have a peaceful sleep? Im tired of having medication to get myself to sleep.. It's killing me.. Sigh..

My Prayers to You

I hope that thing would go back like before, but what had happened will never change.
I hope that you would joke and laugh with me like before, but you have already angry at me without even taking a break to understand what had happened.

I hope you will be happy and will never drown in your life which you claim that it's the only happiness you can find in this life.

I hope.. and I truely hope.. you will be happy.

I Cant Be Selfish >.<

I cant sleep well last night as I have something stuck in my mind which I just cant get over it till now. My BB suddenly mentioned to me yesterday saying he wish to work at Brunei. It's a good news and it's a bad news too. Good news is he will have a better career rather than stuck in his dad workshop and get the chance to perform what he has learn all this while and learning even more of what he is intrested in. Bad news is.. I will hardly ever see him .. no pakto watch movie or yamcha.. If I ever had trouble with transportation.. Bus will be my main transportation again LOL LOL LOL

But somehow I told myself that I cant be selfish.. A man need a career.. it's very important..
Argh.......... no idea what will he decide in the end.. May God lead us the right path.

Gunbound time~~~~~

Save Our Pity Earth.

I was reading yesterday newspaper "Borneo Post" just now as a column attracted my attention to grab the paper and read. ( Usually I dont bother to read newspaper especially Borneo Post ).
The small column was about saving the poor earth - Non-essential flights killing the poor, says Tutu.

It was about cutting off the not necessary business flights by those rich businessman just for a day of business meetings. Not unless you have an important document to carry out to the other businessman at the other side of the country or what so ever. lol

Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu said all those flights including cars fuel burning will cause global warming to be worse and worse each day. Temperature will rise from 1.8 to 4.0 degrees celcius this century due to burning fossil fuels for power and transport.

Not to mention estimation of 185 million of Africans will die this century as direct result from climate change.

It's not just the earth will go extremely hot.. it will also cause draughts, floods, crop failures and water shortage. Even the ice at the north and south pole are melting at the wrong time.. So what good things are you expecting from this poor Earth ?

Humans are getting greedy each day causing global economy failure.
Why are they being so greedy? Even if you own the most money or gold stick in this whole wide world, just remember , by the time you are that rich , you dont even have a safe place to live anymore... or maybe they already found another planet to live so they are now making , absorbing more money to pay a rocket to bring them there? lol Im totally no idea about it.

How I wish that they would 1 day open up their eyes before everything is too late. They should realise what they are doing are actually destroying themselves silently not indirectly.

It's the Time When You Start Missing Them Again.

Yesterday, Friday, 18th of June 2008, was my laziest day of the week. I am pretty lazy every friday but sometimes I cant avoid of being lazy because sometimes workload kinda a lot and rush. But yesterday, my workload not so rush and it makes me very lazy and down.

I wanted to play sms with my friends but ... most of them are busy all should I say.. ALL of them are busy with works but still I manage to sms a while with a Bintulu-nian friend so not so bored for a while but then boredom strikes again.

In the noon, I received a sms from my BB.. Well, seems like he wasnt busy with his works at his dad workshop but instead busy accompanying his far away cousin from England in the gym =_=" From that moment I know he would be very busy with his cousin and at night they will all go for dinner and etc etc etc. Wouldnt have time to sms me to ask how am i doin.. LOL
I was waiting for his sms actually... wait...and wait...and wait....and the time pass by already 8.30pm still nothing beep on my phone.... and i have fallen asleep without even noticing it...

BUt around 9pm I kinda heard my hp beeping , and so it was him afterall.... Just a good nite wish from me to him and i went back to sleep again.... xD

Arghhh yesterday talked a lot with mum about my old school days... been talking about 2 classmates of mine... I dont know why I understand them both so much that I dont even want to blame them for hurting me or being selfish.. Most probably because Im just one of them. Both of them are suffering from bad family background...they grown up with no father.. The gal.. her dad died when she was just 7 while the other boy..his dad left his mom when he was 8. While me.. my dad always had arguement with my mum since the day i know how to listen mandarine language lOL..

Im kinda miss my primary school very very much.. totally missed them.. I miss my lower secondary school too ... because it's the school with the most cute guys i have ever been and my upper secondary school is the most sucks of all.... not to mention no cuties but a lot of dumb asshole who thought they are clever because they are rich. LOL money rules huh? dont think so ...

I just cant wait to leave the damn school i cursed it everyday and I totally hate the teachers there as they are sweet words eater.. >.>" Anyway I am so glad Im off my school days now .. Even though what I earned now is not a lot but it's enough for me to survive through the days.. You maybe say that I doesnt give myself any room of improvement.. dont worry I wont blame you as you are not me and you will never understand what problem im standing in between now that has blocked me from a lot of things that I wanted to do.