What are the points in Life? I know this is kinda a boring topic to be blog. Somehow this topic is kinda a neverending story for me. I never know much the points in my life. I have no idea why am I still struggling here to stay alive. Why dont I just simply eat and doesnt care what Im the taking instead of being careful on my diet and avoid getting sick.
I used to have new year resolutions every year during my teen age and even last few years too.
Well, those are just normal resolutions such as study hard, get good marks in exam, work hard, save more money for any trips that Im drooling at.
But last year and this year, I started to get lazy with any new year resolutions anymore. I just feel like, what's the point making it? Not like I am able to achive any of it. =_=" So far I have only achieve one resolution and that is in year 2001. My SPM results is better than Im expected it to be.
Sigh.. I dont think I will be any better in this year even though zodiac broadcast from all over fengshui master in the world said Mouse year will bring good things for those who born in Mouse year. I cant quite see much o. Or maybe I just miss it? I really wish very badly that I can open up my eyes to see what have I done wrong or right. I started not to be able to diffrenciate them.
All I know is im not so quite happy at all for now. I thought I will be but Im not .
There is a big sandbag at both of my shoulders. I tried to unload it but I just cant. Sometimes I just put those sandbags behind my eyes to temporary avoiding from thinking how to unload it. Of course , I cant hide from it forever , but if I do, I will end up in pyschology hospital in kuching.
For those who are actually reading this thread might think that I dont know to let it go or I dont know to speak it out to share it with friends. But when your friends started to think that you are telling lies, would you even wanna speak it out? I really dont like to keep my problems. Im the kind who say it out my problems or happy stuffs. But when the person you trust so much, u depend on so much, just somehow dont believe in your words when you needed them the most... how hurt would u feel? I feel like a whole big planet drop on my head and my heart breaks to million zillion of pieces.
But this doesnt stop me from making new friends just that I am more secure to myself and this is how my sickness never cure much. Sigh..
I cant find points in life. I want a simple free life. Is it too much to ask? Zzzzzzzz Today is Saturday, the plan of excitement has been cancelled and I am now 1 lame boring cat sitting at home blogging some rubbish and hoping more money will drop on my head .................
