Yesterday, Friday, 18th of June 2008, was my laziest day of the week. I am pretty lazy every friday but sometimes I cant avoid of being lazy because sometimes workload kinda a lot and rush. But yesterday, my workload not so rush and it makes me very lazy and down.
I wanted to play sms with my friends but ... most of them are busy all should I say.. ALL of them are busy with works but still I manage to sms a while with a Bintulu-nian friend so not so bored for a while but then boredom strikes again.
In the noon, I received a sms from my BB.. Well, seems like he wasnt busy with his works at his dad workshop but instead busy accompanying his far away cousin from England in the gym =_=" From that moment I know he would be very busy with his cousin and at night they will all go for dinner and etc etc etc. Wouldnt have time to sms me to ask how am i doin.. LOL
I was waiting for his sms actually... wait...and wait...and wait....and the time pass by already 8.30pm still nothing beep on my phone.... and i have fallen asleep without even noticing it...
BUt around 9pm I kinda heard my hp beeping , and so it was him afterall.... Just a good nite wish from me to him and i went back to sleep again.... xD
Arghhh yesterday talked a lot with mum about my old school days... been talking about 2 classmates of mine... I dont know why I understand them both so much that I dont even want to blame them for hurting me or being selfish.. Most probably because Im just one of them. Both of them are suffering from bad family background...they grown up with no father.. The gal.. her dad died when she was just 7 while the other boy..his dad left his mom when he was 8. While me.. my dad always had arguement with my mum since the day i know how to listen mandarine language lOL..
Im kinda miss my primary school very very much.. totally missed them.. I miss my lower secondary school too ... because it's the school with the most cute guys i have ever been and my upper secondary school is the most sucks of all.... not to mention no cuties but a lot of dumb asshole who thought they are clever because they are rich. LOL money rules huh? dont think so ...
I just cant wait to leave the damn school i cursed it everyday and I totally hate the teachers there as they are sweet words eater.. >.>" Anyway I am so glad Im off my school days now .. Even though what I earned now is not a lot but it's enough for me to survive through the days.. You maybe say that I doesnt give myself any room of improvement.. dont worry I wont blame you as you are not me and you will never understand what problem im standing in between now that has blocked me from a lot of things that I wanted to do.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Will I ever had a happy ending?
I woke up this morning before 8am by my mother. She told me she will be going out to get some groceries and some pork for tonight bbq at cousin's house. Im a bit lazy to follow as I was still sleepy and tired and my back pain due to bad posture when I sleep. My brother will be driving her to Morsjaya somehow plan changed from Morsjaya to old market at town so end up I have to really woke myself up and get ready to accompanied mum.
I saw mum wore the shirt I bought for her during my first time visit to KL which was 2 years ago. The 2nd time i visit KL was last year and this year economy was so bad and I just switch my job so will not be going anywhere. This remind me of the incident happened yesterday when I was going out with my bf =_=" he somehow forgot that his Gf actually did travel outside of Miri and not a kampung girl.. well sometimes the way he see people and judge people seems like an idiot and would pissed you off till you want to hit him hard till he scream OUCH!
It's either he forgot or somehow he just never have the heart to remember things about me. Well I just think that he has other things to bother which he should be awake by now as those things he has in his brain spinning wont be going anywhere as there are no actions taken and somemore it's all about Money. Time is what he need and a proper income which means he need to get a job. Well I dont have to worry him this as he knows what much more important to him to his life to his future. =)
Argh.. I shouldnt whine so much in cyber space about the misery between me and him LOL
Im a bit confuse whether I am walking through a better life now or just getting much more worse than ever..
I feel like i lose something i win something.. somehow what I lose wasnt the things I want to lose at all..
I seldom talk to my best buddy now.. been a month plus I didnt see her.. Most probably she is busy with works but somehow her position wasnt any manageress or something so..well.. fine if she said she has a lot of paperwork to do.. fine then..
But just now, heard from another male friend saying she sms him telling him she is at cameron highland... Well I know she went to KL she said attending course..somehow now I just feel like sometimes I miss out a lot of things about her and she is missing a lot of things about me too.
I know she dont know that Im attached with another boy right now. Seriously I feel like crying now when I type all this and flash back all those sweet memories I have together with her.
I know one day she will be tired listening to all my pathetic stories and always being emotional but somehow I still look good outside from my smile ..so maybe she thought I was just trying to get attention.. So all I can say here is.. NO ONE understands me but God. Or .. Im just making things so complicated that people just getting tired being pull around in a circle and not understanding what I want in life?
I need freedom and supports. That's all. It's not so easy to understand isnt it?
From freedom and supports, I can go further.. dream further and realising the dreams.. at least I get the chance to try rather than sit around and dreams.
Once again Im asking myself.. will I ever had a happy ending?
I saw mum wore the shirt I bought for her during my first time visit to KL which was 2 years ago. The 2nd time i visit KL was last year and this year economy was so bad and I just switch my job so will not be going anywhere. This remind me of the incident happened yesterday when I was going out with my bf =_=" he somehow forgot that his Gf actually did travel outside of Miri and not a kampung girl.. well sometimes the way he see people and judge people seems like an idiot and would pissed you off till you want to hit him hard till he scream OUCH!
It's either he forgot or somehow he just never have the heart to remember things about me. Well I just think that he has other things to bother which he should be awake by now as those things he has in his brain spinning wont be going anywhere as there are no actions taken and somemore it's all about Money. Time is what he need and a proper income which means he need to get a job. Well I dont have to worry him this as he knows what much more important to him to his life to his future. =)
Argh.. I shouldnt whine so much in cyber space about the misery between me and him LOL
Im a bit confuse whether I am walking through a better life now or just getting much more worse than ever..
I feel like i lose something i win something.. somehow what I lose wasnt the things I want to lose at all..
I seldom talk to my best buddy now.. been a month plus I didnt see her.. Most probably she is busy with works but somehow her position wasnt any manageress or something so..well.. fine if she said she has a lot of paperwork to do.. fine then..
But just now, heard from another male friend saying she sms him telling him she is at cameron highland... Well I know she went to KL she said attending course..somehow now I just feel like sometimes I miss out a lot of things about her and she is missing a lot of things about me too.
I know she dont know that Im attached with another boy right now. Seriously I feel like crying now when I type all this and flash back all those sweet memories I have together with her.
I know one day she will be tired listening to all my pathetic stories and always being emotional but somehow I still look good outside from my smile ..so maybe she thought I was just trying to get attention.. So all I can say here is.. NO ONE understands me but God. Or .. Im just making things so complicated that people just getting tired being pull around in a circle and not understanding what I want in life?
I need freedom and supports. That's all. It's not so easy to understand isnt it?
From freedom and supports, I can go further.. dream further and realising the dreams.. at least I get the chance to try rather than sit around and dreams.
Once again Im asking myself.. will I ever had a happy ending?
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Lame Saturday >.>" 28.06.2008
The day before Saturday, 27.06.2008 Friday, I slept around 8pm after my dinner all the way till morning. Feels like a drunken woman LOL as I'm not so concious when my phone rang and mum calling me out to grab some fruits to eat. >.>"
On Saturday morning I woke up at 7am which actually wasnt as I plan it to be because I plan to wake up at 9am xD but I really need to wake up because I feel like peeing. LOL
So there I lay around lazy on the bed as I know it's Saturday and Im the one that is not working among all my female friends so dont ever think about of going shopping on Saturday noon. Lazy lazy lazy around I decided to get out from bed and online as I havent been online for quite sometime already. @@" While busy checking the friendster forum to see who say my bad thing in cyberspace. >.>" Indeed there were people talking me from behind of the cyber space LOL..
Same day , but evening, will be the company farewell dinner to an estate manager. Well, I was late for the dinner and my admin manager wasnt so pleased and he punish me to sing karaoke in front of which I rejected it. xD and he intimidate me by saying he will deduct off my salary next month =_=" i told him there is no such labour law =P he seems kinda pissed. LOLLLL
He was all-out last night as he wasnt the old grumpy man which I have seen for 6 months at my current company which Im working right now. LOLLL amazingly I manage to snap a photo which will be the sweetest memory ever between me and him .. Well will post the pic out when I load it out from the digital camera (dig came was not belong to me =P)
My make up was not as I expected as the one who make it up wasnt me but my bf and his younger sister which is 16 years old =_=" i look seriously ugly but somehow still got people say i look great and etc other positive compliments.. argh >.<>.<
I was sitting with a table of uncles and anty and much more older person than me as Im the youngest in the company xD. Well, I was thinking that I might be needing to fetch food for them , but somehow they fetch food for me .. O.o? wow..touching...
An uncle sitting at my right side was fetching me the fish main bone with still quite some meat attached to it and the uncle sitting left side of me say " wow he feed u like a cat "
=________=" swt....................
Overall the dinner was ok ok lah.... just that the room they use so stuffy.. aircond never cold one... oh I forgot to mention the hotel ..it was Dynasty hotel... the food not so nice probably my manager pick the cheap package lo.... @@ bo bian.. I ate 2nd round at dave's deli.. turkey ham sandwiches, smash potato, youghurt drink and mineral water as the yoghurt drink sucks.. LOL
not to mention all those annoying mosquitoes in Dave's deli >.>"
Well, anyway today is Sunday and it's hot and the internet connection was bad big time so might end up continue arranging my mp3 files in my pc.
On Saturday morning I woke up at 7am which actually wasnt as I plan it to be because I plan to wake up at 9am xD but I really need to wake up because I feel like peeing. LOL
So there I lay around lazy on the bed as I know it's Saturday and Im the one that is not working among all my female friends so dont ever think about of going shopping on Saturday noon. Lazy lazy lazy around I decided to get out from bed and online as I havent been online for quite sometime already. @@" While busy checking the friendster forum to see who say my bad thing in cyberspace. >.>" Indeed there were people talking me from behind of the cyber space LOL..
Same day , but evening, will be the company farewell dinner to an estate manager. Well, I was late for the dinner and my admin manager wasnt so pleased and he punish me to sing karaoke in front of which I rejected it. xD and he intimidate me by saying he will deduct off my salary next month =_=" i told him there is no such labour law =P he seems kinda pissed. LOLLLL
He was all-out last night as he wasnt the old grumpy man which I have seen for 6 months at my current company which Im working right now. LOLLL amazingly I manage to snap a photo which will be the sweetest memory ever between me and him .. Well will post the pic out when I load it out from the digital camera (dig came was not belong to me =P)
My make up was not as I expected as the one who make it up wasnt me but my bf and his younger sister which is 16 years old =_=" i look seriously ugly but somehow still got people say i look great and etc other positive compliments.. argh >.<>.<
I was sitting with a table of uncles and anty and much more older person than me as Im the youngest in the company xD. Well, I was thinking that I might be needing to fetch food for them , but somehow they fetch food for me .. O.o? wow..touching...
An uncle sitting at my right side was fetching me the fish main bone with still quite some meat attached to it and the uncle sitting left side of me say " wow he feed u like a cat "
=________=" swt....................
Overall the dinner was ok ok lah.... just that the room they use so stuffy.. aircond never cold one... oh I forgot to mention the hotel ..it was Dynasty hotel... the food not so nice probably my manager pick the cheap package lo.... @@ bo bian.. I ate 2nd round at dave's deli.. turkey ham sandwiches, smash potato, youghurt drink and mineral water as the yoghurt drink sucks.. LOL
not to mention all those annoying mosquitoes in Dave's deli >.>"
Well, anyway today is Sunday and it's hot and the internet connection was bad big time so might end up continue arranging my mp3 files in my pc.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wedding Dinner @ Eastwood.
Last night was my first time attending a wedding dinner at Eastwood. The other time I had my dinner there was on company's year end dinner. 28th June will be another dinner from company at Dynasty Hotel. LOL wow ..so many dinner and it's all FREE OF CHARGE WAHAHAHAHAHAH
The dinner last night was the halal type which I cant see any pork dish LOL overall.. I ate a lot of the vege which is the 2nd last dish before the fruits plate. Well, it's the only dish which no one wants to eat because it's vege =D
The next dinner will also be halal dishes so I dont expect too much too. LOL
Yesterday morning, I made my hair straight again.. no more messy curly hair and the front hair is no more the "Liu Hai" type now which is the SA POH type or the proper name is the WA-WA style... aiya..so called people name it GOTH look la.... my eyes are small and my face kinda slim down so i look like an idiot..
Tomorrow Im going to get laugh by people liao w00t... haiz..have to suffer for another 3 months for the hair to get long and change the hairstyle at the proper saloon liao..wat a terrible nightmare.. a long one... 3 months nightmares... =_="
Recently I found a new blog which is called Miri Food Hunting. It's a blog actually done by a group of mirian guys i guess .. LOL Myself and my BB actually plan to start such blog but we have no time to do it yet somehow already have people starting it which is quite good.
The weblog is in my blog here so you guys can click on it to find it out... nice places of miri to eat... probably it's not your taste but no harm to give it a try..
The dinner last night was the halal type which I cant see any pork dish LOL overall.. I ate a lot of the vege which is the 2nd last dish before the fruits plate. Well, it's the only dish which no one wants to eat because it's vege =D
The next dinner will also be halal dishes so I dont expect too much too. LOL
Yesterday morning, I made my hair straight again.. no more messy curly hair and the front hair is no more the "Liu Hai" type now which is the SA POH type or the proper name is the WA-WA style... aiya..so called people name it GOTH look la.... my eyes are small and my face kinda slim down so i look like an idiot..
Tomorrow Im going to get laugh by people liao w00t... haiz..have to suffer for another 3 months for the hair to get long and change the hairstyle at the proper saloon liao..wat a terrible nightmare.. a long one... 3 months nightmares... =_="
Recently I found a new blog which is called Miri Food Hunting. It's a blog actually done by a group of mirian guys i guess .. LOL Myself and my BB actually plan to start such blog but we have no time to do it yet somehow already have people starting it which is quite good.
The weblog is in my blog here so you guys can click on it to find it out... nice places of miri to eat... probably it's not your taste but no harm to give it a try..
Sunday, June 15, 2008
It's just a fake happiness from the beginning..
I thought I was walking quater of the road to happiness but today at this moment I realize that I am not.. All are just fake act from my family which I thought I am actually has the green light to move on..
Again..I feel like leaving this home .. I know most probably all of you would think Im sort of crazy for having such thought as everyone would wish to stay at own home.. What I mean is parent's house as the economy goes really bad now..
I dont know.. I just want the 1% freedom.. that's all im asking..is it just too much? >.<"
I knew the chances for my heartache problem to heal would be very low indeed as well. It will keep on aching from time to time until reaches the serious level and die in the end without the last words of Goodbye.. or get hit by car when I cross the streets to get my lunch during weekdays as my eyesight has problems and getting a spec is kinda over my monthly budget.. =_="
I may look like OKAY to you all but actually I am facing a tight finance problem which no one would actually know and moreover I dont expect anyone to feel pity for me as my own family members doesnt feel pity for me what more can I expect from outsiders ?
" I pray to God that mother and brother will feel grateful for what I have contribute towards the family and please Let me have the 1% freedom as I wish I could live longer as I have found my soulmate which I still have a lot of things to share with him and I dont want to get heartache because I am stress out from family problems and die without a last word. Amen. "
Again..I feel like leaving this home .. I know most probably all of you would think Im sort of crazy for having such thought as everyone would wish to stay at own home.. What I mean is parent's house as the economy goes really bad now..
I dont know.. I just want the 1% freedom.. that's all im asking..is it just too much? >.<"
I knew the chances for my heartache problem to heal would be very low indeed as well. It will keep on aching from time to time until reaches the serious level and die in the end without the last words of Goodbye.. or get hit by car when I cross the streets to get my lunch during weekdays as my eyesight has problems and getting a spec is kinda over my monthly budget.. =_="
I may look like OKAY to you all but actually I am facing a tight finance problem which no one would actually know and moreover I dont expect anyone to feel pity for me as my own family members doesnt feel pity for me what more can I expect from outsiders ?
" I pray to God that mother and brother will feel grateful for what I have contribute towards the family and please Let me have the 1% freedom as I wish I could live longer as I have found my soulmate which I still have a lot of things to share with him and I dont want to get heartache because I am stress out from family problems and die without a last word. Amen. "
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